chguise

August 19, 2009

Empire Falls…

Filed under: rambles — greyrabbit @ 3:11 pm
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Each day when I drive over to my son’s school to pick him up I read a couple pages of whatever book I’m enjoying. Today, it was Empire Falls and I noticed something interesting.

Of course, I know I’m not the first to notice this, so please forgive may enthusiasm for the obvious.

The book is written from several points of view. It’s third person, but the tense changes with certain characters. I’m sure I’ve read other books like this, but they would have all been before I started writing fiction myself because I’m keen on noticing tense and person. It’s fascinating to me what an author chooses and if they employ this choice in most of their work.

The success of the device, I feel, is hinged on the storyline of the character in present tense. And it is successful due to Tick Roby’s story being the most unnerving of all the characters.

My only criticism so far would lay it the use of italics for large sections of the past. It’s not an easy font style to read and it leaves me wanting to skip those parts, though so far, I haven’t.

I’m very much liking this novel and would suggest it.

August 16, 2009

change is good…

Filed under: writing goals — greyrabbit @ 10:54 am
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Yesterday, I decided I would change the look of my writing blog, so short of doing any kind of coding, I chose a new format. I’ve been busy setting new goals for the school year, yes because the children are headed back and my youngest will be out of the house for most of the day, so instead of moving the furniture I opted for a great big pen at the top of my page.

I have a number of novels in the works and I’d like to get two done before the end of the year. Queries and submission lists included. It’s a task, but I have the time. I have between 9:00 and 2:00 to write and I have promised myself I will. And I’ve also decided to resume reading regularly.

Oh and for those who’ve been reading Back into the Sand for me, the page is still there, but the link to it is over on the right in the side bar. Thanks.

August 1, 2008

fall into shadow…

Filed under: excerpts — greyrabbit @ 10:31 pm
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An excerpt from my dark fantasy novel Fall into Shadow which is currently in it’s third rewrite.

~

“You’re dead Berrid, and Cathryn’s waiting for you,” Devlyn said pointing off into the distance.

But instead of the light appearing far away, it was close. Devlyn felt whispers of hands caressing her arms as she held Berrid.

“Thank you,” he said kissing her.

And then, Devlyn was alone in the dark. The acrid rotting air was replaced by the smell of years damp stone. She wiped the blood from under her nose. Her stomach churned.

Devlyn climbed the rotten wooden stairs out of the sunken torture room and walked past the cells. The old man held his arms out the mostly fallen away bars, another man sat against the wall.

“You’re dead,” Devlyn said taking the one man’s hand, “You both are. Go that way.”

“He can’t hear you child, his ears,” he said pointing to the side of his head.

The old man helped his companion up.

“Death finally came, she says we can go.”

He smiled then waved to Devlyn and they walked off into the distance. Devlyn kneeled down nausea overtaking her. Dry heaves racked her body as blood, streaming from her nose, pooled on the floor.
It took several minutes before Devlyn was able to stand. She hurried to the exit leaning against whatever she could find to keep herself upright.

Climbing out of the dungeons proved to be a problem. Devlyn stood at the base of the crumbled staircase. She climbed as far as she could before it became impassable.

“Balien, Padric,” she yelled, “Help! Balien?”

“Devlyn?” Balien called, “Is that you?”

Padric peered over Balien’s shoulder down into the pit. He held a torch over him, lighting Devlyn’s face. Smeared blood marred her skin. She stood at least ten feet directly below the doorway.

“How did you-” Padric said.

“Wait there,” Balien said disappearing.

After a moment, Padric too disappeared leaving Devlyn in the dark. She peered into the inky black behind her but saw nothing.

She wondered how many people had died down here. Their screams permanently imbedded in the walls, blood and bones littering the floor. The hair raised on the back of her neck.

“Don’t leave me here! Balien…Padric!”

Balien appeared at the doorway again. With Padric holding the torch he lowered a rope. Devlyn snatched it before it reached the ground.

Behind her, a stone fell. She squinted and saw movement. Devlyn wrapped the rope around her wrist and held tight as Balien pulled her upward.

“Hurry,” she said.

Suddenly she felt cold fingers around her ankle. It pulled at her. She felt it cut through her boot and dig into her skin.

“Hurry, please,” her voice growing more frantic.

Devlyn struggled to free herself from its grip.

“Padric, grab the rope,” Balien yelled, “Stop swinging around, you’re not helping.”

Padric dropped the torch behind him and the pit went black. Devlyn looked down and saw the thing hanging on her leg. It sneered up at her. Black ran from its mouth, covering its chest. It was only human in the most basic form. Thin and lanky, it looked stretched.

“Come with me,” it whispered in a liquidy wet hiss, “help us too.”

“Get me out!”

“Pull!” Balien yelled feeling a strange deep cold rise from the pit, “Padric, pull.”

Devlyn hung heavy. The rope slipped through Balien’s fingers ripping the skin. He dug his heels into the threshold of the door and pulled but Devlyn didn’t move. All the while, Devlyn was in pitch-blackness, screaming and thrashing about.

“What’s going on?” Padric yelled pulling at the rope, “she’s not that heavy. Something’s got hold of her.”

“She’s caught. Nothing has her, pull the damned rope!” yelled Balien feeling the rope thrash around.
He leaned back and pulled with every bit of strength. Padric grabbed hold of Balien and pulled him backward.

The thing giggled and let go of Devlyn. Balien jerked her upward and through the door. She rolled from the dungeon onto Balien who fell backward. Snatching away from the doorway, Devlyn pulled her legs up to her chest.

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